I remember reading somewhere (although Google fails me in finding a source) that the fighting spirit of the British Jolly Jack Tar (sailor) was due to intestinal discomfort - caused on the morning of battle by a breakfast of herring and onion (and no doubt a mug or two of grog).
I don’t mind herring and onion myself - there was a tin of herring in the cupboard - and I was making congee (rice porridge, basically) this morning and decided to put this story to the test. Would eating herring and onion for breakfast make me fit to fight on a rolling deck? Or would it make me ill? 
The recipe was:
200gm tin Herring in Tomato Sauce
1 cup rice
1 Massel™ stock cube (chicken)
3 small-ish pickled onions, chopped roughly
water
A handful chopped baby English spinach
I boiled the rice with the stock cube until it was falling to bits (just over 30 minutes), turned the heat down, then threw in the spinach and onion. A couple of minutes later I added the herring (broken up in the tin into smaller pieces). Left to warm through for 5 or so minutes, and served shortly thereafter.
The result? I think it tastes great - Donna less so. I’ll make it again (depending on how rambunctious and bellicose it actually makes me feel later ). I do feel warmer for it.
Some notes:
- I kept the water up to it to stop it glugging up and burning.
- I probably wouldn’t add a lot more onion.
This isn’t strictly speaking faux cuisine, as it is not faking anything (unless you wanted to use it as a Kari Ramen recipe? It might work!).
What it is though is easy. It’s Saturday morning, Helen is at work, I’m bored and hungry. Here it is! You will need:
- Two spring onions, chopped
- Teaspoon olive oil
- Tablespoon curry paste
- Baby Bok Choi, chopped
- Two cups hot water
- Teaspoon chicken stock powder
- Tin (185gm) tuna (I use chunks in springwater or in brine, use the oily one if you prefer)
- Tin (420gm) creamed corn
- 1 cake of instant ramen noodles
Lightly fry the spring onions in olive oil. Add curry paste (I used Patak’s Vindaloo this morning, extra hot!) and stir constantly for 30 seconds to a minute. Add baby bok choi. When the bok choi is wilty (not long), add hot water and chicken stock powder. After a minute add tuna and creamed corn, stir in, then add noodles. Read emails and check blog stats for a couple of minutes. Serve.As in all my recipes, your mileage may vary. If serving this to a wider audience I would probably use a milder curry paste, and maybe add an egg toward the end. Or not.
Note: this recipe is derived from one originally posted on Facibus Reviews.
Laksa (a curry noodle soup) is a favourite of a lot of techy folks here in Canberra. There are two main types of laksa that I’ve been able to identify through research over the years:
- Laksa Lemak: contains curry paste, coconut milk and laksa plant (AKA Vietnamese Mint) as well as some kind of meat and/or vegetables, and
- Penang Laksa: basically Laksa Lemak without the coconut milk, usually contains fish.
I’ve eaten both sorts here in Australia as well as in Malaysia and Thailand. Being on a health kick currently, Helen and I prefer the Penang Laksa - contains more good stuff (the fish) and less fattening stuff (the coconut milk).
Real Penang Laksa involves a whole (sans guts) fish - usually mackerel - being boiled into a state of disintegration then further pounded/shredded into a paste (bones sometimes included - they go soft if cooked for long enough).
Here is my slack version. You will need:
- a small handful of spring onions or one whole onion (either way, chop finely)
- curry paste (something mild like Massuman works well - please do not use more than a tablespoon until you’ve tasted it)
- teaspoon of oil (peanut/olive/canola/whatever you have)
- a couple of small tins of sardines, drained
- Asian greens, like Sam Bok or Bok Choi, chopped
- a cup of water
- some kind of soup noodles - like Ramen, Soba or Hokkien (whichever you prefer), not more than 100gm when cooked (rehydrate/cook noodles per packet instructions prior to use)
- half a handful of basil leaves
In a saucepan, brown the spring onions/onion in oil and curry paste. Throw in the sardines, then add Asian greens and stir gently for a minute or so. Add water, cooked noodles, some basil, and serve.
This is a great recipe for experimentation - you can add any vegetables you might think are nice in this kind of curry soup, or use different curry pastes, different herbs, a heap of pepper, fresh fish (watch for bones!), you name it. Experimentation and sloth are at the heart of the true faux cuisine cook
Note: this recipe is adapted from one originally posted on Facibus Reviews.
